Attachment Issues: Therapy and Treatment
Short and Simple Symptoms List
• Problems with trust
• Avoidance of intimacy
• Self-critical
• Deep sensitivity to blame/criticism/rejection/judgment
• Intense emotions or mood swings
Attachment is a very important topic that is becoming better known and understood all the time. It relates to the need of the infant and developing child to have her/his needs met responsively when they arise. This initial attachment relationship helps the individual to accomplish the first step of maturation: the ability to trust.It greatly affects our ability to be in relationships.
Simultaneously, attachment helps us to feel safe in our own bodies and to recognize that the distressing states of hunger, fear, or pain, though intense, do not last forever. We learn that we can handle and resolve these uncomfortable states. Thus, we grow in self-confidence, and develop a secure base within.
If infant or childhood needs were not met responsively, over time the individual may react with anxiety and depression, or, if the neglect or abuse of our needs continues or worsens, a person may experience numbness, shutdown, or dissociation and/or various difficulties in relationships (see descriptions below). These children develop relationship styles that could be overly dependent, some are distancers, and some are ambivalent in relationships.
These symptoms often go unnoticed in children, but later in life can interfere with success in adulthood, as the defenses that were a solution to getting through a disappointing, neglectful, or abusive childhood have become problematic. When attachment problems are treated in a child or adolescent, the therapy can focus on enhancing and strengthening the parent-child relationship. Some trauma processing for both parent and child may help the attachment work, and it can prevent or minimize relationship problems in adulthood.
The good news is that it is never too late, even for adults, to get their needs met. Our EMDR trauma therapists specialize in beautiful, safe ways to help meet those needs. For those with attachment issues, the therapy is designed to be gentle, tailored to your needs. It will often use some form of meeting needs through imagination and visualization, augmented by one of the gentle applications of EMDR therapy. Research about sports success has demonstrated long ago that imaginal rehearsal can be as valuable as actual rehearsal. The brain doesn’t really seem to know the difference. This fact can be used to great benefit for those with attachment issues.
We can deduce from this some very good news: you really still have time to get your needs met, and are no longer dependent upon caregivers who couldn’t nurture fully. If you are eager to take care of your, or your child’s attachment needs, we urge you to call one of our specialists today. (If needed, be sure to ask if the therapist does treat children’s attachment needs. Note: At this time we do not have any who specialize in treating Reactive Attachment Disorder of Childhood.)
