iBE Lighten Workshop — A Complete Boost for Relationships — Schedule

Friday Prep Night                                   See Location*

Friday evening gives you an introduction to Bowen Family Systems Theory, EMDR Therapy, and a new Group EMDR Protocol (iBE) which integrates the two.  In a group setting, questions can be answered and you have a chance to be introduced to members of the group.  You will have the important opportunity to think about and plan the memories you will address during Day 1 and 2.  Those days will be so full of clearing out negativity, that it is essential to develop your personal list of the memories that need greater resolution in each category.

7:00 pm to 8:30 PM

Day 1:  Saturday

Healing 2 Types of Past Stressful Relationship Patterns:

The morning offers you comprehensive healing of the conflict pattern.  Conflict includes criticism, blame, fighting.  It often refers to our relationships, but it can also refer to our relationship with ourselves.  If we have a strong inner critic, we can be our own worst enemy.  If that is so, please think of memories in which you really did a number on yourself.  Or, we were cruel to someone with our words or behavior, and that might be a good memory to address in the morning.

The afternoon will focus on the pattern of Distance.  Distance includes being ignored, avoided or shunned.  It may be that someone ended a relationship in a one-sided way, rather an abandonment.  Or, it may be that you have a habit of distancing and you can see that it is reducing your potential support system.  You are losing relationships that actually do have some value.  But you just don’t know how to repair the injury the relationship suffered.  If so, it doesn’t hurt to take a memory of a time you distanced, if it bothers you today.

 9:00 AM           iBE:  Your earliest Conflict Memory

10:00 AM          iBE: Your most disturbing Conflict Memory

 11:00 AM          iBE: Your recent disturbing Conflict Memory

Noon-2 PM       Lunch Break and Relaxation

 2:00 PM           iBE: Your earliest disturbing Distance Memory

 3:00 PM           iBE: Your Worst disturbing Distance Memory

 4:00 PM           iBE:  Your Most Recent disturbing Distance Memory

Day 2:  Sunday

Healing 2 Types of Past Stressful Relationship Patterns:

The morning offers you comprehensive help for the triangle pattern.  This means to bring in a third person into an existing problem.  It causes confusion and distraction, and tends to multiply problems. It can look like gossip, affairs, or a pattern called “child focus” in which parents put more energy into the parent-child relationship than necessary, and less energy into the adult partnership.  You can choose memories in which someone hurt you through triangling.  Or, you could choose a memory in which you realize that you hurt someone else by triangling, and it still bothers you.  As we work toward maturity, we will be focusing on one-to-one, personal relationships more, find new ways to handle triangles since they are a part of life.

The afternoon gets you started on clearing distress from the pattern similar to co-dependency.  Bowen called it “overfunctioning/underfunctioning reciprocity.”  Jenny Brown calls it “One up/One down” positions.  You can choose disturbing memories about this from your life.  Some examples:  Perhaps your parent was an alcoholic.  Their preoccupation with drinking caused them to miss their responsibilities to parent you, care for or protect you responsibly.  Or, you had a boss who was very demanding and criticized so much it made it hard for you to function.  Perhaps someone in your life is overdoing it, or underdoing it in some way that distresses you in some way.  All these are good things to focus on in the afternoon.  The goal, as we work toward greater maturity, is to see more equality and balance in the sharing of responsibility in gaining more respectful views of one another.

 9:00 AM           iBE:  Your earliest Triangling Memory

10:00 AM          iBE: Your most disturbingTriangling Memory

 11:00 AM          iBE: Your recent disturbingTriangling Memory

Noon-2 PM       Lunch Break and Relaxation

NOTE:                It is possible, through processing efficiently, that we can complete First, Worst and Recent Reciprocity memories.  With group input, we’ll reach consensus.  If the process moves more slowly, we may only have time for two memories.

 2:00 PM           iBE: Your earliest disturbing One Up/One Down Memory

 3:00 PM           iBE: Your worst disturbingOne Up/One Down Memory

 4:00 PM          iBE: Your recent disturbing One Up/One Down Memory

4:50 PM            Closure and Evaluation

*LOCATION:  Angles of Hope Counseling Services

1234 East Main Street

El Cajon, CA  92021