Day 2: For Me, My Relationships and Generations to Come
Healing 2 Types of Past Stressful Relationship Patterns:
The morning offers you comprehensive healing of the triangle pattern. This means to bring in a third person into an existing problem. It causes confusion and distraction, and tends to multiply problems. It can look like gossip, affairs, or a pattern called “child focus” in which parents put more energy into the parent-child relationship than necessary, and less energy into the adult partnership. You can choose memories in which someone hurt you through triangling. Or, you could choose a memory in which you realize that you hurt someone else by triangling, and it still bothers you. As we work toward maturity, we will be focusing on one-to-one, personal relationships more, find new ways to handle triangles since they are a part of life.
The afternoon gets you started on clearing distress from the pattern similar to co-dependency. Bowen called it “overfunctioning/underfunctioning reciprocity.” Jenny Brown calls it “One up/One down” positions. You can choose disturbing memories about this from your life. Some examples: Perhaps your parent was an alcoholic. Their preoccupation with drinking caused them to miss their responsibilities to parent you, care for or protect you responsibly. Or, you had a boss who was very demanding and criticized so much it made it hard for you to function. Perhaps someone in your life is overdoing it, or underdoing it in some way that distresses you in some way. All these are good things to focus on in the afternoon. The goal, as we work toward greater maturity, is to see more equality and balance in the sharing of responsibility in gaining more respectful views of one another.
9:00 AM iBE: Your earliest Triangling Memory
10:00 AM iBE: Your most disturbingTriangling Memory
11:00 AM iBE: Your recent disturbingTriangling Memory
Noon-2 PM Lunch Break and Relaxation
NOTE: It is possible, through processing efficiently, that we can complete First, Worst and Recent Reciprocity memories. With group input, we’ll reach consensus. If the process moves more slowly, we may only have time for two memories.
2:00 PM iBE: Your earliest disturbing Reciprocity Memory
3:00 PM iBE: Your worst disturbing Reciprocity Memory
4:00 PM Discussion and Evaluation